Hi, sweet readers.
I have a confession to make.
I'm lucky to be friends with a lot of incredible writers, who also happen to be amazing people in general. As it happens, a pattern seems to be emerging with a lot of them -
They're also successful.
Like, really awesome things are happening to them.
Agents are fighting over them!
They're getting book deals (for two books! And three books! And getting paid real money! OMG!)
Their books are in the Amazon top 100! And they get fan mail!
And when that happens? I'm over-the-moon happy for them.
And I'm also jealous of them.
| I totally compare myself to everyone. |
But I don't let it steal my joy,
if that's what 's making that chick jump around on the beach with balloons.
I never do that anyway.
I think so often the word jealous has a negative connotation.
But I think - and I really, really, believe this - that "I wish that would happen for me" does not automatically mean "And I wish that didn't happen to her."
We all know that this is a business. And we all know that this is a subjective business. That means that very, very rarely are we ever in real, direct competition with our fellow writers. Because each piece of work is so different, there are no consistent factors that lead to success, and there are not very many situations where we're honestly going head-to-head.
So, in one example, someone didn't get a book deal over me - she just got a book deal, and I didn't. Yet.
When a friend of mine celebrates a success, and I feel jealous, it tells me something - I want what she has. Maybe not the whole thing - maybe I envy the result, and not the path. Or maybe I envy the trappings, but not the core result.
Regardless, allowing myself to feel jealousy helps me identify what I want, and why - and how - I want it. That's not such a bad thing at all.
So I tell my friends I'm jealous of them all the time. They know it means I think that what's happening to them is so freaking awesome that I wish it was happening for me, too. In the next breath, and probably also in the one before it, I tell them that I'm so, so, SO happy for them. And they know that means...well...exactly what it means. I really, truly am happy, too.
Yes, it's possible to be both jealous of and ecstatic for someone. My friends are so badassed that it happens to me all the time. You know who you are. *wink*
What about you?