(You're looking for as many matching answers as possible. There is no right or wrong here.*)
1. What time do you go to bed at night/wake up in the morning?
- Morning Person
- Night Owl
- I never sleep.
2. How comfortable are you talking about your personal life?
- Not at all. This relationship is about writing and writing only.
- Once we get to know each other, I might leak some personal details.
- I will tell you about my religious beliefs, deepest darkest fears, and sex life right now.
3. How do you feel about sending and receiving care packages?
- I would probably call the bomb squad if I got one from you.
- Only if it relates to our interactions as critique partners - for example, a book we discussed.
- I just sent you one that weighed twenty pounds. It includes some homemade cookies and a set of jim-jams I thought you'd like.
4. Are you comfortable gushing about how wonderful my book/writing skills/general person when I'm in the lowest of the drafting/revising/querying trenches?
- I really don't want to inflate your ego. I'll be one hundred percent honest with you, even when self-doubt is at its worst.
- If I feel really sorry for you, I'll give you as much hand-holding as I can muster.
- You are the best author I know. I can't believe you don't have an agent yet. Wait. What was the question?
5. If I send you a panicked email about a minuscule detail in my query letter, how will you respond?
- I'll brush it off as quickly as possible. Talent speaks for itself, and that query letter isn't going to make a difference in whether you get an agent.
- I'll respond about the distinction between the "or" and the "and" in that sentence, once, but after that I'll ignore you. Chill the eff out.
- I will drop everything to analyze every word with you until you calm down/your query letter sparkles like it's meant to. This is important!
6. Can I come stay at your house if I feel like taking a vacation?
- No. Never ask me that again.
- Maybe. If I decide you're not too weird.
- Absolutely. And I will cook for you, leave chocolates on your pillow, and scent your bedsheets with lavender. How soon can you get here?
7. If I'm having a really bad day, will you email me a kissing scene and/or near miss scene and/or sex scene from your WiP to cheer me up?
- Why would a kissing/near-miss/sex scene cheer you up? Are you some kind of pervert?
- I don't really feel comfortable sharing details of what I'm working on, but for you I might.
- I'll send you three kissing scenes right now, just in case.
8. Can I have your phone number to save in my speed dial under "In Case of Catastrophic Agent Rejection?"
- No. Are you kidding? That is freaky.
- If you promise to call only if you really, really need to.
- I thought you'd never ask. Here's my work number too.
*I lied. The last answer is always the right one.