Giving It the Best Chance

If you're a regular reader, you witnessed my epic whining-about-whining-about-querying post from last week. (And if you're not a regular reader, just count your lucky stars you missed it.)


The conclusion of said post was this: I have to stop being so invested in whether ONE, or any of my stuff, for that matter, gets published. I have to forget how much I love it, so that every rejection doesn't break my heart.

My ruthless sweet and brilliant CPs were quick to call me out in the comments - I can't deny how much I love the goshdarn thing. Heck - even the playlist makes me cry sometimes.

Yep. Sure does.

So. While I do still need to stop being quite so invested in whether any of my stuff gets pubbed, I now realize that the only other option is NOT to let the query flurries run out, shrug my shoulders, and say, "eh."
I've got to give it the best chance I can.


That means writing a kick-butt query.
Then re-writing it.
Then re-re-writing it.
*eye twitch*


I had a pretty pared-down, simple query, which wasn't doing anything stellar for the MS. (a sprinkle of requests, under 10%)
Marieke got out her literary syringe and injected the whole darn thing with voice and filled it out a little (still under 250 words, don't worry.)
Then my saintly friend Helene stripped it back down to something more simplistic.


I've had feedback from CPs, agenteds, and Real Live Agents that the voicey query looks good.


(And, as we were so helpfully reminded last week, if the problem isn't my query, it's my MS - duh - and I'm just really not mentally prepared for that possibility just yet.)

So. Should I keep querying with it? My req. rate on it is....well, it's only been out 11 days, and I've only heard back from four or five of those. All form Rs, though. But I do LOVE this query.

Or should I pare it down a'la Helene? Which is also a solid query but way less voicey?


What do you think?*
(Thanks in advance. You all are angels. *kiss kiss*)
*Also! I'm in good company. Please run over to Gina's and Jenny's blogs, where they're asking for query advice today, too.

Sixteen-year-old Merrin Grey can’t fly to save her life, but she is a freaking amazing floater. Too bad, because in a world where almost everyone else is a Super, with at least two powers, or a Normal, with none, being a One is the worst kind of in-between.

When Merrin is shipped off to Normal High—excuse her, Nelson High—all she wants is to land an internship at the Biotech Hub.  If she can get close enough to their research on the manifestations of superpowers, she might finally figure out how to fix herself.

But then she meets Elias VanDyne, another One, and all her carefully crafted plans fly out the window. Literally. When the two of them touch, their Ones combine to make them fly, and when they’re not soaring over the Nebraska cornfields, they’re busy falling for each other.

Merrin’s over the moon. She’s unraveling the secrets of Ones—way beyond AP Chemistry—Elias is a seriously good kisser, and her mad skills in chem class even land her a spot on the Hub’s internship short list. But when Elias disappears, along with her bratty water-walking brothers, the Hub’s interest turns lethal. The thought of crashing has never been scarier, because if Merrin fights back, she has to abandon her dreams of ever flying solo—of ever being more than a One.

ONE is a work of YA Science Fiction complete at 76,000 words. Thank you for your consideration.

It's Not a Science. It's Not Even an Art.

I've been doing a lot of whining lately.

It all  boils down to reading/thinking about, and obsessing too much over, How to Get Published.

See, there are so many helpful blogs and tweeters with advice about How to Succeed at Publishing.

But then, with every rejection, comes the repetition of the word "subjective" and fellow writers' suggestions to revise the pitch, query, or MS according to feedback.

Except...I don't have any feedback. I know that one reason for this is that no agent has time to give me any. And I get that, I really do. (Although, Saints Alive, it does happen - check out my CP Gina's post from today if you're looking for inspiration in that regard.) So I kind of flounder trying to figure out where the weaknesses in my writing are, what I can do to make a book Marketable.

(And when I do get feedback from every lovely person on things like my query, it seems to vary widely, even to conflict fundamentally. Because it's all...you guessed it....SUBJECTIVE.)



See, when you move from being a writer to a writer with a goal of Getting Published, it's easy to start the planning, and the far-thinking, and the "research" that'll help you get there. And, at least for me, there's the sense that we're doing something wrong or right. We get the sense that there are rules to follow, things we can do to get our foot in the door or make the door slam in our faces.

But, after a certain point, (the point at which you're a decent writer and act relatively professionally) I don't really believe in those things anymore.

• Never write a query letter in character voice? Tell that to Miranda Kenneally. 
• Think you have to write in first person to get a really relatable character voice? Tell that to Kristin Cashore.
• Vampire novels are dead? Tell that to Gina Maxwell.

And how do you know if you're the exception to the rule?
Well, you don't. You can't.
So, as my CPs keep bucking up and reminding me on my endless whining email chains, I might as well keep trying. Keep writing each new book, without worrying about whether the concept is saleable or whether first or third person is more Marketable For YA or the word count is too high for the genre, or the trillions of other things that have been getting under my skin lately. And query my little heart out, the best I can, but don't take it too much to heart. Do my best, of course, but don't let it destroy my love of writing.

Besides, what else am I going to do? Watch TV? Knit? Cook? Clean?!?!?!
No effing way.

A Different Story

So, as I have more than sufficiently whined on this blog, I'm having a tough time getting into the voice of the third WiP.

Because I somehow felt that I hadn't whined ENOUGH here on the blog, I also sent a whining email to Chessie. She said she knew how I felt, because it had happened to her when she was writing a character that didn't think/talk/react like some of her others had. The characters that behaved more like her, she said, were easier to write. But those that didn't were more of a challenge.

Which is when it occurred to me - ONE's main character thought about and reacted to things in a way that felt really familiar to me.

This main character? Not so much.

When I realized this, the rest of it came to me in a rush:
Not only is the main character different - the entire book is different, you guys.

I know. This probably should have been obvious to me before I started trying to write the darn thing. After all, here are the things I  knew about this book even before I started drafting:

• The main-main character undergoes a sudden and dramatic life change right the beginning. She has a character arc, of course, but the events that make it up are kind of crazy and tumultuous as opposed to quiet and steady.
• But that's not all! The book actually has two main characters.
• The main love story is between the main character and a minor supporting character, and is tangential to the main plot.
• The story is futuristic sci-fi, and requires extensive worldbuilding.
• It has some really terrifying bits (at least to me) and people die. Kind of a lot of people.
• There's a resolution, but really no happy ending.
• No one would call this story fluff. Unless they REALLY weren't paying attention.

For the first  couple weeks I was (purportedly) working on this project, I acknowledged all the above things, but somehow didn't realize what they all meant:

This story is different, so it has to be written differently.

• It requires a lot of research, most of which cannot be accomplished by Googling stuff.
• It has two main characters whose goals dovetail about a quarter of the way through the story, despite wildly differing backgrounds and motivations.
• Which means the story must be (gasp!) outlined. (I have never outlined any aspect of any story before ever ever ever)
• I might have to do some writing exercises to really get into the head and the voices of these characters, and to make them distinct. (I have never done writing exercises. Thinking about writing exercises makes my skin crawl.)

I'm not used to doing any of this. I don't know how to do any of this. 

But that doesn't mean I'm going to quit. What does it mean? 

This story is different. So I have to learn to be a different writer.

Or, less dramatically, I have to accept that writing this story requires skills I haven't mastered yet, then buckle down and work my butt off to get those skills and totally rule at them.

It would be so, so easy to throw my hands up in the air, give up on CHROME, and write another story just like ONE. To let another main character with the same slightly sarcastic and vaguely optimistic first-person present voice tell another story about finding herself in some unexpected and beautiful way (and kissing a very cute boy quite a lot along the way.) 

Don't get me wrong - ONE is a good story. It's a strong voice. It has sweet characters. I love it deeply, and I believe in it with all my heart. 

But I didn't start writing so I could write the same story over and over again. 

 I don't want to get better at writing one way - I want each new book to make me a better writer in a different way.

And, what do you know - as soon as I really, truly accepted all this?
Writing got a little easier.

I don't know if it was me giving myself permission to let the suck flow, just like I did while drafting my very first manuscript (yep, the one before ONE.)
I don't know if it was finally accepting that I didn't know that much about how this MC would sound, and letting myself experiment with that.
I don't know if it was admitting that yes, I did need at least some semblance of an outline before tackling the writing (which I jotted down before I started.)

But this weekend, I nearly doubled CHROME's word count.
(Amidst a slog of a birthday party, a two-hour-long work thing, a morning of baking, and sundry childrearing and household responsibilities.)
Yep. Somehow, just accepting that this story-writing would be different - not harder, necessarily, but a completely new experience - let me just get the words out onto the screen again. It feels awesome.


Okay, sweet readers. Please share your stories of writing breakthroughs. How have your stories made you a better and better writer with each one?

The Next Generation of Readers

I was one of those kids. You know the ones - who sit in the shade with their noses buried in books, when they're "supposed to be" racing their bikes up and down the street with the other neighbor kids. Or the ones who take books along with them to slumber parties. Or snuck one under the table when it was supposed to be family dinner time.

Pretty much nothing could yank my nose out of a book once I'd started reading. I was about eight or nine when I first remember becoming completely obsessed. It was via a copy of Little Women. I don't know if it was the whining little sister I identified with, or the dashing Laurie I already swooned over, but I have vivid memories of sitting in a corner and dropping tears on the pages of my mother's copy when Beth died.

Even as a child, I was a voracious reader, and so I needed more books - LOTS more books. At nine, Ramona was already a bit young for me, but I read all those. Then I plowed through Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret? But after that, for some reason, all I really remember reading was The Babysitter's Club (ad nauseum) and Sweet Valley High (though I never did like those girls.)

For a couple of years, for some reason, that was pretty much all I found. One bright shining spot was A Wrinkle in Time - oh, goodness, I think ten-year-old-me still has a girl crush on Meg Murry - and another less sparkly one is The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.

By the fifth grade, I was getting pretty tired of EVEN MORE Babysitter's Club (obviously, I was never that fond of children.) But still, every once in awhile a book would come along, now for class reading, that would make me re-obsessed with reading. The Devil's Arithmetic and The Giver ignited my love for dystopian (yes, I know The Devil's Arithmetic is Holocaust, but still dystopian, no? Not trying to diminish it, obviously.), but when no more of those books for children could be dug up for me in the library, it was a huge bummer. I remember being so frustrated about having to pick up those serials again.

But somehow, just at the right moment, my fifth grade teacher got it. She knew I had to read and she knew it had to be something good. I'll never forget the day she handed me a copy of Jane Eyre.

I. Was. In. Love.

And it was about more than Jane and Mr. Rochester, although they remain my absolute favorites to this day. I could read grown-up books! And, even better, my teacher thought I was smart enough to read grown-up books! I read Fahrenheit 451 and 1984. I read Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Sense and Sensibility, and Persuasion (oh, Captain Wentworth!) I tackled A Tale of Two Cities and The Count of Monte Cristo.

I was reading about love! And horror! And social politics! And corrupt government! And starcrossed love! And war! And revenge! It was absolutely amazing. (I thank God every day for that teacher) And even though it was all in grown-up books, I understood everything. I loved it. And I wanted more.

This experience of being a mildly precocious reader has left me with a couple of realizations as an adult:

Kids can read books written for adults, and they should be able to,
but
They shouldn't HAVE to.

When I look at my kids, I want them to be able to get their hands on books that are written for them, that feature protagonists with whom they can identify, but that are smart enough to challenge their hungry little minds. I want the books to take them to new worlds, make them believe in impossible things, and tug at their heartstrings. I want the books to acquaint them with sadness and fear, and tough situations. I want them to drop tears on the pages of a paperback (or reader screen) because the words on the page are so powerful that they've just had their little hearts broken.

In the book-publishing biz, we hear a lot of talk about what will sell. I guess that I wish, twenty years ago, there had been a lot less talk about what would sell and a lot more talk about what would do all that stuff I just said above. Maybe then there would have been more Middle Grade Count of Monte Cristo on the shelves in front of me, to balance out all the Babysitter's Club.

So. Today, I thought we'd do a bit of cheerleading.
Or, you know, copious cheerleading. I love cheerleading.

I, for one, am looking forward to hoarding some of my YA favorites for my kids to read. Here are my top three loves for that particular purpose right now:

Break by Hannah Moskowitz
Possession by Elana Johnson
Graceling by Kristin Cashore

All very different - Contemporary, Sci-Fi/Dystopian, Fantasy. Wildly divergent protagonists on all levels. Some have swearing, some have sex, all have kissing. All are multi-layered and ripe for wonder, excitement, discussion, and obsession. There's something about Hannah's books in particular that are dear to my mother's heart, because I can shove them in my kids' faces and say, "See? Teenagers can write important things, too."

Here's where my CPs come in. (of course!) We're all on the tough road to publishing, and some of us know that the books we're querying now might not make it (chv'sh ptuh ptuh ptuh). But I'll be darned if my kids aren't going to have the chance to read about conflicted Kelsey, spitfire Maggie (and dreamy Tommy,) brave Grey, smart Avery, stubborn Tam and Izuko, and schizophrenic Alex.


It is at this point that I take a moment to reflect on my gratitude for e-readers. 

At the end of the day, I really don't care what sells. I want to pass stories about bravery, hope, and believing in oneself to my kids and all their cutie friends. Because even if they never get published by a Big Sixer, they're the stories I wish I could have had twenty years ago. Maybe, just maybe, one of them will make one of my kids fall in love with reading.

And I'm sure they'll never, ever forget it.


Your turn, sweet readers! What books made you fall in love with reading? Which ones do you wish were around when you were a young reader? And which ones are you looking forward to passing on to kids you know?

What Tugs You Down the Writing Path?

Let's take a moment to put it all on the table.
We're so busy. So, so busy.
We all have so much stuff every day that we have to do besides writing.
It's insane that we're writing at all, really.

Here's my stuff:
Three preschoolers to take to and pick up from school, feed, clean, clothe, etc. Every day.
A house to keep non-condemnable. (Low standards!)
A husband to look at and speak to once in awhile.
30-35 hour a week day job.
Extended family visiting 1/2 of weekends.
Theoretically, working out. (I'm hosting a fetus right now so I give myself a break till May.)
I should sleep? Probably?

Now. I'm grateful for these things. These things make up my life, one that I consider myself very lucky to lead. There could be a lot of extra, not-so-positive things thrown in the mix that I'm SO GRATEFUL are not there.

There's just one thing I know about all this. I have to fit writing in somewhere. HAVE TO.
For one simple reason - I'm a miserable beast when I don't.
(I've learned this through trial and error, and it's not pretty.)

But, especially for the unagented, it's really, crazily difficult to fit writing in. Where's our motivation? What are we really doing here, anyway? No one even wants to buy our stuff! (So it seems.) 

It's so ridiculous to spend our valuable time and energy writing something that'll never go anywhere, right? It's just a big old waste.

What business do we have tossing hot dogs and apple slices in our kids' general direction while staring at the laptop perched on the kitchen island, or depriving ourselves of sleep just to get an extra 200 words in? Who do we think we are, spending way too much money on a babysitter for two hours just to sneak in a bit more brainstorming? Or ignoring our classwork, or secretly rejoicing when our husbands announce they'll be on a boys' night out again?

Well. None, really. But if you're anything like me, you know you'll be miserable if you don't.

So, what pulls you down the path to get started? To keep going, till you've hit 75000 words (or whatever,) then to painstakingly edit, then to go through rounds and rounds of CPs/revisions/edits, then to cry over queries and synopses and rejections?

Well, for me, it's tough love, made up of equal doses of bullying and guilt, with a little flattery on the side.
Like this:
 "Stop whining and JUST WRITE."
"Here, let me spend valuable time brainstorming with you about plot/themes/worldbuilding. NOW WRITE." "You'd better write this story, because it's going to be AMAZING."

So I do.
I "just write" a kissing scene between two characters that kicks off a whole element of the story I hadn't anticipated.
I force my brain to navigate a tough bit of worldbuilding with Chessie's help, and when it's finally there staring at me, my mind is blown with how awesome and exciting it'll be to write.
I take a minute to think about my main character's arc and want to cry a little bit with how difficult things are going to be for her. I fall in love with her.

Then I realize - after just a little bit of work, NO ONE is going to be able to write this story like I can. My characters and the world are speaking to me, and now they're on the "Just Write the Darn Story" team.
And if I don't write it, no one else will ever hear them.

Then I start thinking about my CPs, and I get really grateful that they threw crackers at their kids or ignored their husbands or didn't prep for midterms or lost sleep or made their fingers ache typing that whole chapter on an iPhone during carpool. Otherwise I never would have met Kelsey and David, Emma and Alex, Amity, Damien, Rory, and Viv, Tam and Izuko (oh, Izuko,) Avery, Jack, and Stellan, Alex and Miles, Maggie and Tommy, Grey and Xan and Edward and Nathan. I would have never had their stories tug at my heartstrings and change me just a little bit forever. When I think about how those stories will be published and other people will get to know them too, I'm really, really, REALLY glad those authors kept going. Otherwise, their stories would be stuck in their heads forever, without anyone else to ever love them.


Now, that would be a waste.

Because I'm Running Out of Ways to Gush over My CPs...

I'll just let Ryan do it for me.

Isn't it amazing when you spend the whole weekend critiquing, and you don't even procrastinate at all (not that you would ever procrastinate while drafting or revising. Never. ) because the stuff you're reading is JUST SO GOOD that you don't want to stop working?

And then when it comes time to write a blog post Monday morning, you realize that all your creative/intelligent thought and energy is sapped?

Yeah. That.

So I wanted to gush over my CPs again, but that's getting old, I think. So I'll just let Ryan do it for me.


(Reference: LAST YEAR'S MISTAKE by Gina Ciocca)


(Reference: ALEXITHYMIA by Francesca Zappia)


(Reference: THE ELITE by Maggie E. Hall)


(Reference: TIME BOUND by Jamie Grey)



(Reference: THE ALTERED by Jenny Kaczorowski)


(Reference: LAST YEAR'S MISTAKE by Gina Ciocca)


(Reference: THE NOCTURNIAN trilogy by Francesca Zappia)






Have a great week everyone!

Friday Obsessions: Snow, Crit Projects, and the Kindle

Before we begin!
Some housekeeping.

First up, there's an amazing literary/writer's auction happening over at Write Dreams to benefit Donna's Dream House, which helps KIDS IN THE HOSPITAL, so, you know, it's really important. Anyway, someone set fire to it right before Christmas, those jerks, and now Donna is trying to rebuild so that sick kids can hang out with their families a little more while they're staying in the hospital.

So if you have some extra holiday cash lying around and want to use it for a good cause and get writing help from the pros as a really nice bonus, GO BID!!! (Remember, they're bidding in pounds, so...yeah. Do your conversions.)


Second! The winner of the Brodi Ashton Classy Author Giveaway is.....

COREY WRIGHT!!!

(I swear to you I did the random draw and whatnot, but I'm too lazy to do the screenshot, etc, so you'll just have to believe me.)

Who said, "In a weird way, stories like Brodi's are so satisfying to hear. Insofar as, here is someone who really *wants* it. Who works for it and keeps at it because it's what she's called to do, not just because it's something to do. And it's a fantastic light to the rest of us who struggle with the rejections and the self-doubt and the looming fear of the not so great What If." 

To which I say: Damn straight. Congrats, Corey! (Though, I can't for the life of me find your email address, so shoot me a message with your address and whether you'd like EVERNEATH on Kindle or in hard copy, okay?)


Okay. Now, on with the obsessions!

Everything I was obsessed with this week.
Because I know you want to know.


1. The Forecast.

So, right now (5 AM on posting day,) the weather looks like this:


Which...okay. Whatever. I just pretty much HATE this whole "ten degrees and cloudy" nonsense if the weather's not going to oblige and at least give us some pretty snow to look at. So every morning these days I'm going to weather.com and just hoping....

Well, guess what I saw this morning!!!


Which pretty much has me doing this:


Yep. Even though it won't shut down work or school, or really even accumulate that much, I love a good Shabbat snow. So pretty to watch, so nice to curl up with a great book. Which brings me to....

2. Crit Projects LYM and TB
As soon as I finish pushing through this revision high on ONE (yes, ba''H, ptuh ptuh ptuh, my CPs helped pep talk my sorry behind through my revision wall from last week and I'm ALMOST DONE) I'm spending ALL WEEKEND with books from members of the team. I'll probably finish in-lines on Gina's fab new YA romance.

You need to be jealous - because my goodness is it ever romantic. Fellow LYM team member Marieke compared Gina's writing to Sarah Dessen's, and I agree, not because I've ever read Sarah Dessen, but because her writing made her famous and Gina's gonna have the same situation.

And then - did I mention? - I snagged (okay, obtained through endless month-long harassment) a very early copy of TB, which is about TIME DRAGONS I mean HOLY GEEZ, you guys - from Jamie Grey. And you guys, the writing is SO BEAUTIFUL and the characters? Love them. So I get to finish reading that and send my comments this weekend too.

Cannot. Wait.

3. My Kindle 
Call me snobby or elitist or a Hater of Paper Books, but I'm in love with my Kindle. I wouldn't get NEARLY the volume of reading or writing (yes, the Kindle is an IMMENSE help to my writing, I'll do a post on it) without my baby in her sweet eggshell-blue case.


My Kindle, tag-teaming it with my netbook to edit ONE.

Plus, when I send ONE to the Kindle, it looks just like all the other books that are actually published by People Who Publish Things. At I'm not gonna lie, that's a rush.

Okay, your turn!!! What were YOU obsessed with this week?

The Revision Cave

 I understand that the Internet is striking against bad people that want to censor the Internet today, so I'm supposed to be blacked out and whatnot. But I'm posting for a few reasons:

1. Alexa called me on not posting on Monday, and I felt like a loser,
 2. I need to announce the winner of the Brodi Ashton Classy Author Giveaway, (scroll to the bottom)( Decided I'm doing that tomorrow instead) and
3. I need to explain why my blog posts might be kind of sub-par (or occasionally absent) in the next few weeks.

Oh! And, lastly, I think this insipid post will illustrate how pointless everyone's blog posts might be if the internet got all censored. So that's worth something, right?

Ohhhkay. Let's go.

Well, folks, it's that time of the manuscript again. The amazing, magical, heartbreaking, devastating, depression-tailspin-sending time when I have a ton of revisions to do and so do half my CPs.

Everyone's gearing up to query, which is a wonderful, exhilarating thing which basically translates to I HAVE TO GET THESE REVISIONS DONE AND THESE 3 OTHER MSs READ AND THOUGHTFULLY COMMENTED ON AND ALSO COULD YOU PLEASE LOOK AT MY QUERY ONE MORE TIME BECAUSE I'M WORRIED ABOUT THAT COMMA YOU KNOW WHICH ONE.

I'm on edge, we're all on edge, let's hole up in our rooms and hunch over our computers and occasionally burst into tears and maybe also send each other 75 emails a day which may or may not consist largely of exclamation points (!!!!)

Yeah. It's insane, and hilarious, and draining. So, for lack of a coherent post today, I thought I'd show you where I'm going to be doing the most hours of insanity/hilarity on the next couple of weekends: The Revision Cave.



1. There's the Harry Potter crew. Love them. Below them to the left is a quote from Robbie Coltrane about making the movies: "Nobody thought, 'Oh, it's just a kids' film.' Everyone treated it as seriously as Ibsen." Damn straight.

2. Pictures of the fam and me and my sweetie. Because, well, obvious.

3. Flowers. Even caves need flowers.

4. The little corner I keep with love notes from my CPs. Even if Gina's are mushier and flowerier and more quote-filled than Chessie's, I know they love me the same.

5. A giant bag of peanut butter M&Ms that I keep for the sole purpose of letting my kids get their grubby little hands into when they manage to sneak up to my office. It's cute to watch them feeling like they naughtily won something.

6. Mug my sister got me with quotes from TWILIGHT. If I ever lose confidence in my writing ability...well, you can imagine how this helps.

7. Headphones. Obvious.

8. The pretty paper notebooks I bought back when I thought I would actually do some longhand in there. Sometimes they help when I need to scribble manuscript-wide notes.

9. My tape dispenser that I wallpapered the the UGLIEST flowery stuff so no one would want to steal it and pretend it was always theirs. Because seriously, why are people always stealing tape dispensers?

10. My crew of guys. Edward, Thor, and Professor X. They help. Edward loves me unconditionally and eternally, Thor will smash anyone who gets in my way, and the Professor is...well...THE PROFESSOR.

11. The netbook with Underwood skin. Because my husband calls it a "glorified typewriter."

12. The paper copy of ONE, God help me.

13. The cast of characters. You can see Nik and Davis, Joey and Brian (let's take a moment of silence may they rest in peace) and Merrin and Elias are up there too (still haven't found a better one than Corey Monteith, sorry G, except that guy I stalked in Starbucks and my picture of him sucks.) Still haven't found a perfect Leni and Daniel so they're down for now.

14. Superheroes growth chart. It might look like I've grown a lot, but I put "Full Request" almost halfway up the chart when I thought that if I was getting full reqs I was basically halfway to published. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I know. I was so cute.

I'm almost grown up to "Second complete MS" and the next step will probably be "sign with agent" which I'm too superstitious to even put up there. But that will be at Daredevil level, which is apropos, and now I'm hovering at Human Torch. Which is WAY apropos.

15. Fab author inspiration. There's another growth chart about growing with critique from Beth Revis and the printout of the first time ELANA JOHNSON COMMENTED ON MY BLOG OMG. Telling me not to stop dreaming. She's so awesome.

16. A bracelet my writing buddy Jean gave me that's engraved with "the heart of a writer." I'm gonna engrave the title of every book I get published on the other side.  So, it's like optimistic and whatnot.

17. This picture reminds me of an Israeli kids' song that says, "To the giraffe, all of our problems look very, very small." I love it.

18. More pictures of the fam. Me and my sister up top, me and my baby girl below, and to the left, a snap of my grandmother at 23, who I think I was probably cloned from. Probably should write a book about that.

19. A handwritten and illustrated version of Shel Silverstein's "Listen to the Mustn't's" from my Israeli bestie Hela, which always makes me weep, and a necklace she made me to go with it.

20. A story from Jewish tradition about the importance of telling stories, which ends: "God made people because God loves stories." It helps remind me that all this insanity isn't really as silly and pointless as I sometimes worry it is.

Welp! That's the tour. Thanks for visiting, hope you enjoyed it, and if you ever come over, there's a second desk in the same office, so we can TOTALLY have a writing date with enough workspace AND without having to look at/talk to each other. Good times.

The Revision House of Cards

If you've ever drafted a novel, you know that when you deliver it to your CPs' inboxes, it's like a card house - painstakingly planned, fretted over, each piece fitting into place perfectly. Stable, but intricate.



But what my CPs can see, that I can't possibly see, is that my novel isn't a house of cards. It's more like this:

'

This old farmhouse has a pretty solid foundation, and has the potential to be awesome if we tweaked a little here, cleared all the brush around it, replace the kitchen, add some additions, and build a sweet driveway next to it.

But before I can do all that to it, my CPs have to make some suggestions for change that pretty much amount to this:



Not gonna work for the house of cards. 




But deep down I still see that novel as a house of cards. She's my baby, remember? I agonized over putting every piece of her into place. I saw her being built, but my CPs only saw her finished, with parts of her starting to look not-so-good.

So I try to make the changes my CPs suggest without the wrecking ball.

You can guess what happens. I usually end up with something like this:



I changed one little thing, moved around one little piece. I can pretend the whole thing's going to stand on its own, but inevitably the next round of CPs notice it for what it is: a wibbly-wobbly (but not timey-wimey, that's Jamie's book) proto-mess that won't last for long  or maybe just doesn't make any sense as-is.

We all know it. They know it, and sometimes they try to pretend it's okay, but most of the time, they keep telling me my house is about ready to fall. Yeah, it hurts to hear it, because just look at that card house up there! It's MOSTLY fine. Who's going to notice?

Well, they tell me, everyone will. When it falls. Or worst, only I will when it doesn't sell.

Well, crud.



So, that's where I am now.

It's hard, but I'm resolving to (try to)  follow my CPs advice with the wrecking ball instead of just by moving cards around.  I asked these people to read because I trust and respect every one of their opinions. FULLY.

Even when it's scary. Especially when it's scary.

And so, as my fingers hover over the "delete" button or the keyboard to write even more new stuff,  I remember that those ladies saw a strong foundation, and some beautiful elements, and knew that even with a wrecking ball, the whole thing would turn out okay.

No. It would turn out way, way better.


(That's what Elias's house looks like, by the way. Movie room's down the hall on the left.)

The Itchy Query Finger

It happened with my first manuscript, and it's starting to creep up on me again.

The itchy query finger. (Oh, July me. You were so cute.)

I know exactly what to blame. It's the first draft high, which I got a second dose of, laced with extra uppers, in the form of the first revision high I experienced yesterday when Gina, Alexa, and Marieke read ONE. (Shoot, Marieke's crit was pretty much, "You need to work pretty hard on fixing some things in the first half of this book," and I was still clapping my hands and squealing like a schoolgirl.)


Yeah. Clearly it's just a high. But still.



I have a pretty decent query that could be dolled up with a couple weeks of hard work, and yeah, writing a synopsis and the endless list of pitches one has to write is no tea party, but I could still do it.

But I'm no idiot. (No, really. I'm not. Bear with me.)

I read advice from query luminaries all over the internet:
Wait a few months to query.
Work as long on your query letter as you did on your revisions.
If you send too early, you'll find glaring mistakes in your MS and wish you hadn't.

I know. I know. And I agree. But still. My itchy query finger is CRAZY with shpilkes. 

I thought about why this is while I was procrastinating on starting to eliminate one of the ten kajillion times the word "just" appears in ONE (thanks G) and I think I realized why. You guys ready for this? It's kind of, you know, deep. Which we don't see a lot over here.

I'm afraid that if I don't query it now I'll realize how much it sucks, and I never will send that first letter.
Even though I know it doesn't suck.
Even though I know most books get waaaay better with revision.
Even though everything in my brain tells me that's wrong wrong wrong.....

The first draft/first revision high leaves me thinking...is this the most confident I'll ever be about ONE? The most excited?

(Wow. I am a nutcase. Analyze away.
Oh. And in case you were concerned? I set up a querying date for myself, to avoid any stupid moves.)

What about you guys? Have you ever had the itchy query finger? Why do you think it got so itchy? Did you send or wait? 

Will 2012 Be Your Year?

I'm just gonna say it right now: 2012 is going to be My Year.

How do I know? Because I'm going to make it My Year. Just like I did with 2011.

Here's how I made 2011 My Year:

• I wrote. Every. Single. Day.
• I blogged. A lot.
• I read. A lot.
• I finished THE TRAVELERS.
• I met handfuls, bunches, and scads of amazing, kind, and brilliant writers.
• I got very, very lucky, and some of those writers agreed to critique TT. I listened to their suggestions for how to make it better. Then I made it better.
• I attended WriteonCon in August.
• I learned how to write a query letter. And a synopsis. And a two sentence pitch. And a one sentence pitch. And a Twitter pitch. And a logline. And I learned how to make a first page sparkle.
• I sent almost a hundred queries and entered lots of blog contests for TT. I even got some requests!
• I learned to deal with rejection. A LOT of rejection. (I even cried the ugly cry!) Then I learned to accept that no matter what, it's not easy.
• I started writing ONE as soon as the first query went out on TT.
• I got super, extra, turbo lucky, and some of those writers became dear friends to me (and Aunties to my kids!)
• I wrote ONE much better than I wrote TT, in more ways than I can count.
• I decided to stop querying TT. (That hurt. A lot.)
• I critiqued six-ish projects from other writers while I was doing all of the above.
• I assembled an amazing team of 6 (six!) critique partners in two rounds for ONE (hi ladies, I love you all so much.)
• I started revising ONE according to their suggestions. 

"But, Leigh Ann," you might say. "You didn't sign with an agent, or sell a book, or or or or or."

Nope. I sure didn't. Would I have liked to? Absolutely. I mean, yeah. That would have put me over the moon.

But I took every single step I had to in order to get there.
I learned, I pushed myself, I worked my butt off, I failed (kind of spectacularly,) I learned some more, I worked my butt off some more.

So, how am I going to make sure that 2012 is My Year?

I'm going to do exactly the same thing.

More specifically, here's what's on tap in my writing world for 2012:

• Revise and polish ONE.
• Write, rewrite, and rewrite again all the queries, pitches, and other agent-seeking accouterments for ONE.
• Query and contest the heck out of ONE.
• Attend WriteOnCon.
• Outline manuscript #3.
• Write manuscript #3.
• Rewrite, revise, and polish manuscript #3
• Attend SCBWI NYC (okay, I know that's technically 2013, throw me a bone. I'm excited.)
• Read a lot.
• Blog a lot.
• Critique a lot.
• Write. Every. Single. Day. (except maybe the day that I'm supposed to help this new little human get out of my body. But I'm sure I get a pass for that, right? And honestly probably I'll write that day too. Labor can get boring.

Will I get requests for ONE?
Probably, though I wouldn't place bets on it.


Am I going to sign with an agent? 
Maybe not.

Will I sell a book?
Probably not.

Will I attain widespread fame and fortune?
In a parallel universe, maybe.


But that's okay. Because I know I'm trying my absolute hardest to get there.


So, what about you? Will 2012 be YOUR year?

The only one who can decide whether 2012 will be your year is you.  And, as Sugar says, no one is going to give you a thing. You have to go out and get it for yourself.

So, if you want 2012 to be your year, my dear writing loves, then set your mind to buckling down and getting to work. Make it happen no matter what. Because you're the only one who really can.


Now, please tell me, because I really want to know. How are you going to make sure 2012 is Your Year?

How to Have a Healthy CP relationship

I've heard, "Your CPs are too close to your books." a couple of times. I think that what people are really saying is that my CPs are too close to ME.

I don't think that's true. First of all, I haven't ever actually met my CPs in person. (I mean, seriously. For all they know, I could be a 50-year-old chain smoking prisoner in Colorado. One who writes cute books about superheroes and kissing, but still.) BUT because I think that's irrelevant, I'll give a different reason.

My CPs are my CPs because they're more invested in the health of my work than anything else. And because that depends on the health of me AS A WRITER, they have their work cut out for them. It's a tough balance to strike. It's a mixture of cheerleading, encouragement, sympathy, and understanding, balanced with a ruthlessly tough and objective eye.

Wanna be awesome like my CPs? Here's how.
(Note: These steps are for my "close readers"  - I also have betas, who do an overall read and don't get their hands nearly so dirty, which also has its super-important place.)

1. Gush over the book during the first read through. This shows your CP that you love the project and you are invested in helping her get it into tip-top querying shape.

My CPs raved on Twitter, as you know, but I also got big fat emails from them with initial reactions. Either or both of these will work, but it gives the writer confidence that she hasn't made the wrong decision by sending her stuff out for crit, and that it's good enough for other eyes to work on.

2. Tweet lines you love and other fabulous stuff as you critique.  It's really easy to use the hashtag #amcritiquing and tag your CP. My ladies will even quote a bit of the book with the hashtag #lineswelove every once in awhile.

It's easy for a writer to get stuck in an edits/revisions slump and convince herself that not only is she going to have to completely overhaul her book, but also that it will never ever EVER be finished. If you can manage to toss out little bits of love here and there, it not only assures your CP that you're actually working on her stuff, but buoys her confidence, piece by piece, to get her ready for the third (and technically most important) step...

3. Tear that sucker to shreds in (regularly sent) crit.

(Photo Credit Anne Mini)

Obviously, this is where the actual "critique" in "Critique Partner" comes in. You need to find every single problem in that manuscript and suggest a fix if you can possibly think of one. You need to be the eyes where your sweet writer friend was blind, either from love of her characters, desire to make the story flow just the way she envisioned it, and, maybe most treacherous, attachment to her darlings.

For example: Chessie just sent me the critique for the first five chapters of ONE, which, remember, we all know she loves. Here's what she did:

• Told me to cut a supporting character
• Told me that another supporting character just seems like a plot device (which OMG he is, so I've gotta cut him too.)
• Called me out on countless run-on, confusing, and clunky sentences
• Alerted me to every single place my main character made her roll her eyes (which, spoiler: wasn't none.)
• Brought up a major flaw with the way my main character views those around her
• Caught several instances of sloppy writing (example: I changed the villian's name about halfway through the book, but left his old name in Chapter 2)
• Told me I should probably combine the first two chapters into one, effectively cutting half the stuff.
• Left 110 comment bubbles and tons of in-line edit marks, changing everything from typos to bad punctuation.

Not huge changes, no. But there is a LOT of critique there, and it's just the beginning. 

How do I feel about it? PSYCHED. Because I know that she seriously combed these chapters and called out everything she could see that was wrong or that bothered her. I know she'll keep doing it, and I'm 100% confident my other close readers will do the same.

My point is this. Gushing over a book on Twitter and loving on your CP will only get her so far. It's only worth anything - is only a healthy CP relationship - if you're going to step up and help your writer friend make her stuff even better. 

So, get to work bringing the pain. Your CP will thank you for it.

(For another post about welcoming devastating news from your crit partners, check out this one that I wrote while Gina was critiquing THE TRAVELERS.)

What are your tips for making sure you and your CPs have the best critiquing relationship for you?  Tell me in the comments, so I can add to my arsenal.

Friday Obsessions: New T-shirt, Avengers Menorah, and Reading! Lots of Reading!

Sometimes the week flies by so fast that I swear I won't have anything I've been obsessing over to share with you on Friday. And then...whaddaya know? So, here it is -


Everything I was obsessed with this week.
Because I know you want to know.

1. My new t-shirt.

Okay. So being a Jew and whatnot, I'm not exactly accustomed to giving and receiving Christmas gifts. But when Gina started talking about the epic package she was going to send me for Christmas, well, I got pretty stoked. She's so thoughtful that I knew it'd be something sweet.

You guys? I totally underestimated her. Check out the t-shirt G sent me.



Confused? There are no inside jokes here. Click over to this post where I explain it all.

Bahahahaha are you laughing yet? Because I did for a good twenty minutes. And then I wore the shirt to work the next day. And I'll probably wear it again this weekend.

2. The Avengers Menorah.

I want my kids to be psyched about Chanukah. So when I hauled out the Chanukah box and realized that our kid menorahs are a little....well, not lame, I wouldn't say, but cutesey-boring maybe?....I asked the boys what kind of menorah they wanted this year. I figured I'd Google it, order one, and we'd have a great holiday.

They told me they wanted an Avengers menorah.

But Avengers menorahs do not exist....

until now.

Behold, my craftiest craftiness of the year. I stole some of their toys, and a block of wood, some hardware nuts, spray paint, and a s*%t ton of epoxy, and we've got ourselves one of our very own.  Yeah, I was totally obsessed with getting this done. So. Worth it.

3. Reading. So so much reading.

Guess what I finally got on my Kindle just about an hour ago?


The Official First Draft of ONE!
*confetti*

Since it's hanging out in Chessie and Maggie's inboxes right now, and there's not much for me to do on it until they start sending me bits of feedback....

I get to read. A lot.
It feels luxurious.

Check out my TBR pile:

Not to mention, I get to start critiquing a second project for Chessie! I am seriously over-the-moon-obsessed.


Oh! And Prince Charming. But that's a given. Here's a picture anyway. (You're welcome.)



Your turn, loves! What were YOU obsessed with this week?

Make Them Obsessed and Tear Their Hearts Out

So, I got to read the sequel to THE NOCTURNIAN, the YA Sci-Fi novel Francesca's querying right now, over the past couple of weeks. 

(I know. You're seething with jealousy. And you should be. Here's why:)

I finished the book and I felt like I needed a moment to be alone, just so I could deal with it being over.

Chessie's asked me what I thought about it, and I feel bad that I can't really put it into words any better than that. But it's true. There was a sense of completion, victory and hope, underlaid with a very acute feeling of loss. Something irreparable. Something life-changing.  It felt like there was sort of an emptiness, where the book had taken a little piece of my heart that I couldn't really ever get back.

What I could say about the book was this: The last book  that made me feel that way at the end was POSSESSION by Elana Johnson. The one before that? CATCHING FIRE, the second book in THE HUNGER GAMES trilogy.

Yeah.

Now, there have been plenty of books I've really really enjoyed that did NOT make me feel like that. Those books fall into the (much more easily definable) category of "Obsessed." That means, to me, that even when I'm not reading, I'm thinking about the story. Songs  I hear on the radio make me think of that-one-chapter-when. I see someone at a coffee shop, and think, "Oh! That looks just like Alexis." I can't hear something about Paris on the news without thinking of the fictional hi jinx that occurred there in that one book I loved so much.

So all my CPs' books fall into that category, (duh)  right along with HARRY POTTER and TWILIGHT.

All these books are ones I am passionate about, for one of two reasons:

1. I'm obsessed with the world and/or the characters and/OR
2. I feel like my heart got torn out and trampled on by the end.

Of course, I want to write a story that others are passionate about. After all, a book's not going to sell too well if people pick it up, read some pages, say, "eh," and put it down again.

This is only my second project, and so I'm still not quite sure how to go about inspiring obsession.  But I think I have some idea of how to tear hearts out.

This brings me to a post my CP and writing-life coach Jean made recently about war in fiction. In the blog, she discusses her WiP,  and how even though it's about kid assassins (I know! Awesome, right?) it's really about war.

Then I commented that  reading about war is so gut-wrenching, because at the end, no one wins. And that's the worst part of the whole thing.

And then I thought, well, that's really how real life is, isn't it? There are no one hundred percent happy endings. For stories to feel real, and identifiable, and to tear the readers' hearts out and put them back in again not-quite-whole...there has to be a sense that no one really won here. Even if there was a literal win, like of a battle (oh hey HARRY POTTER) there's still going to be a lot lost.

The same sense we feel in our own lives.
The same things that build us up and tear us down.
The same things we know to be true.
The same things that make us human will make our characters and our stories human too.

Quite frankly, this is something I think is a little flawed about my first project. Sure, there's a bit of loss, and it's something that punches me in the gut every time. But I'm not sure it's something every reader would care about. In writing ONE, it was one of my hopes that, in achieving some of her goals, my MC also had to sacrifice a great deal. I think I'm getting a lot better at that with this second project.

So, what makes you crazy-in-love with a book? And what are you doing to make that happen in your own writing?

What's the rush?

My dear friend and writing-life coach, Jean, asked me an important question last week. I was in the midst of one of my work/life/family/writing balance breakdowns (which happen every 14 days like clockwork), struggling to figure out how I was going to do my day job, keep my house non-condemnable, get decent meals cooked, love on my kids, AND finish this draft.

After all, I had promised it to my first round CPs at the beginning of November. Then the beginning of December. And here I was, staring at December 9th on the calendar, and wondering how it had taken me five and a half weeks to finish a simple first-pass edit.

So I typed Jean a tear-filled email (I believe Gina was the one to get it about a month ago, you ladies are troopers) about the laundry and crumbs in the carpet and trash that needed to be taken out and bathtubs that needed to be bleached. And how it wasn't possible to do all the things that needed to be done AND hug my babies AND sleep AND get any writing done.

She wrote back a long email that showed that she heard what I was saying and that she sympathized, but what she really wanted to say was right there at the end:

"What's the rush?"


So that question stayed on my mind for several days, as the dear patient lady continued to correspond with me via novel-length email after novel-length email. After all, I know very well that I don't have an editor or even an agent to put me on deadline. (Believe me. I KNOW.) And I know that, as an unagented writer, it won't make a difference whether my project takes days, weeks, months, or even years longer to complete. So why should I rush?

RUSH

verb (used with object)

5. to perform, accomplish, or finish with speed, impetuosity, or violence.

Okay. Well, I obviously shouldn't do that. We all know that an impetuously sent query (or a violently sent one, yeesh) is the kiss of death for a writer. But even at this stage of the game, I don't want to waste my CPs' time by sending them a hastily, haphazardly thrown together manuscript.

So, I asked myself again, "Whats' the rush?" (Because Jean is wise, you know.) 

I started to realize that it wasn't necessarily a sense of rush I felt, but a sense of drive. The feeling that I wouldn't be able to think about anything else, rest easy, or even breathe unless I made a least one little step every day on this draft.

I could convince myself that I'd be okay without writing a little bit every day, but after four or five days of ignoring ONE, I started to get mighty cranky, and resentful, and just generally down in the dumps. (Also my main character would start to scream at me, and you don't want to be near her when she's angry.)


What I learned from this was: I know there's no rush to finish any project, any time. But for me? There's definitely a rush when it comes to writing:

RUSH

noun 

2. the immediate pleasurable feeling produced by a drug (as heroin or amphetamine)

Yep. My name is Leigh Ann Kopans, and I am a writing addict. 

What about you? Do you feel a sense of rush when it comes to your projects? Help me feel not-so-crazy down in the comments.

One Year On

One year ago today, I woke up with an idea in my head and frantically typed 5,000 words of a story that would become THE TRAVELERS.

That day, I thought a lot of things about my writing self.

I thought that writing was some silly endeavor I had to try to get out of my system.
I didn't know that writing was something absolutely ingrained in me, desperate to be let free.

I thought that those 5,000 words were captivating, stunning, AWESOME.
I didn't know that they weren't (but I'd learn to make them better.)

I thought that I'd just write this one book and be done with it.
I didn't know I'd write this book, then write another one, then dream up the skeleton for a third, before the year was out.

I thought there was no way I'd ever show my book to anyone.
I didn't know that the handful of people I ended up showing my book to would become absolute lifelines for me, writing and otherwise, and very dear friends.

I thought that, when those people gave me constructive criticism, I would curl up in a ball and die.
I didn't know that the critique-and-revision stage would turn out to be my absolute most favorite part of the whole process.

I thought that writing and blogging about it would make me even more disconnected than I already planned to be.
I didn't know that so so many of you would find my little blog, like reading what I have to say, and support me along the rocky road that I've only just started out on. (Hi, followers! I really do love each and every one of you.)

I thought that writing was ridiculous because it didn't match up with all the career goals I'd had (and achieved!) before.
I didn't know that becoming an author was a dream living deep inside me that I never knew I had.


I thought that all writing this book would accomplish was losing me sleep and buoying me through a tough year.
I didn't know writing would become part of how I think, the way I look at the world, and who I am.

And, just because you might be wondering....

I thought my book would suck.
It doesn't.


Oh! And those five thousand words? Only one sentence out of them survived to make it to the manuscript I'm querying now. (Yeah. I had a lot to learn.) But that sentence, still perfectly intact, is one of my favorites in the whole book - and looking on my first notes dated one year ago today, I know it was in me from the very beginning:

Could it be possible to belong to someone she had never met?

So, even though I was hating on Past Me something fierce on Monday, today, on my one-year-writerversary, I want to give Past Me a great big hug. She's absolutely changed my life.

Your turn! Tell me what reflections and revelations you've had on your writerversaries. Can't wait to tear up at all your sweet stories.

Friday Obsessions and Guest Vlogging at Gina's!

A couple of housekeeping notes AWESOME ANNOUNCEMENTS before we start with the obsessing:

1. I'm doing my first guest vlog ever about my history of literary crushes over at Gina's blog this morning! Please come visit and assure me that I don't sound like a man. Or a complete tool.

2. I'll be announcing the winner of the Lauren Myracle's SHINE giveaway on Monday (which means there's still time for you to enter!!!) and simultaneously kicking off my Classy Author Giveaway series. Get excited for this one, guys...

Okay. And now...


Everything I was obsessed with this week.
 Because I know you want to know.

1. Once Upon A Time.  I blogged about the preview to this months back, and this show does not disappoint. It's beautiful. And incredible. But if I'm being honest, my real obsession is with Prince Charming:

If you watched the first episode, you know he's not only devastatingly handsome, but also totally kickass. He took down, like, five guys with a sword. With one hand. WHILE HOLDING A BABY IN THE OTHER HAND. 

Yes, it's true. I can't find the video clip because I think ABC is, like, patrolling YouTube for it or something, but if any of you has it, please please post the link so that everyone can enjoy. *grin*

2. Sweaters. And tea. And heavy blankets. It's that time of year and there's nothing more I want to do than hibernate and not come out till spring snuggle on the couch with the fam and a book.

3. Sushi. Maybe it's Halloween and all the candy that's been around, or maybe it's that I've been obsessed with tater tots and other fried, quasi-fried, and high-fat foods over the past few months. But suddenly all I want is sushi, in all its cold, whole-food, fresh gloriousness. (Yes, I got some on Wednesday. Yes, it was delicious.)

Your turn! What were your obsessions this week?

Anti-Procrastination Live Blog

Whereas:
- My CP Maggie's Monday Anti-Procrastination Live Blog was pretty much the best thing ever
- I'm not going to work until 3:00 today
- I have a ton of stuff to get done before I have to leave at 2:30...

I decided to add more to my plate and do an Anti-Procrastination Live Blog of my own today! Wheee!

5:15 - I drag myself out of bed, an hour and fifteen minutes late. Remind myself that if I want to wake up at 4, I have to be in bed by 9:30. No exceptions.

5:22 - Read an email between me, Maggie, and Chessie. It seems I've offended Maggie. Or Maggie thinks she's offended me. Or something. And I went to bed before I saw that reply. Better remedy this via tweet. (Make a mental note to form the subject of the email into a  blog post. Topic: What constitutes "typical YA?")

5:32 - The children are laughing and playing (read: AWAKE OMG HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE) in their room, but I hop on the elliptical anyway. I open BEAUTIFUL CHAOS on my Kindle, even though THE SCORPIO RACES is there too. TSR is meant to be lingered over and savored, like Thanksgiving dinner, while BC can be slammed down in satisfying five-minute chunks, like a power bar. The ladies do not fail to disappoint, with this definition of "heartache":
"That feeling - the pain that wasn't pain...the perfect ache I felt in the empty places she usually filled."

5:59 - Done on the elliptical, and off to the races. The kids know that "six-zero-zero" means they can leave their room, God help us, and I want to be ready.

6:02 - Forget the kids. Tweet about Gina's Last Call for Free Books. She's hit 200 followers and is giving away a bunch!

6:23 - Finish torturing the baby getting the baby dressed. Oldest says he is freezing and husband says he has a fever. Run to CVS to get Tylenol.

6:25 - CVS is closed. WTH?

6:35 - Return home from grocery store with overpriced Tylenol and some stuff I need for today's baking. Administer Tylenol. Take oldest's temperature. He does not, in fact, have a fever of any sort. Probably did that backwards.

6:45 - Start a load of laundry. Pick smashed muffins from this morning's breakfast out of living room carpet

6:55 - Start a batch of challah dough in the bread machine, unload dishwasher, and wipe down counters.

7:35 -Pack all the children are in the car to go to school! Husband and I decide the car needs an oil change but he can't do it. I need to go to work at noon instead of 3 to make up for the hours I'll lose doing that tomorrow. Panic.

7:54 - Challah dough is out of the bread machine, pizza dough is in. I (finally) have an English muffin and some coffee. T-one hour till I need to tend to the baking and laundry. Let's see what I can get done, writing wise.

8:23 - Replied to 2 emails from CPs (first priority!) and commented on a few blogs. Now to writing. Want to get in 500 words before I braid this challah.

9:00 - 200 words down. Run over here to post an update. Realize that this url is crashing Chrome on my computers.  PANIC.

9:28 - Still trying to figure out why the F blog is crashing Chrome! (Works fine in IE.) Is it virused?

11:26 - Pizzas are done and challahs in the oven, but you guys? I CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS BLOG. I've removed links from this post (sorry Maggie and Chess) and a twitter widget from the sidebar. It's now crashing IE also. I'm a little stressed because I've never backed it up and now I'm afraid I'll have to delete the whole goshdarn thing.

As of right now, I pretty much hate blogger and chrome and the whole internet. And I think I invented some new curse words. So my house is still filthy, and I've only written 200 words, and now I have to leave for work. Hopefully better news later today. Thanks for bearing with me.

12:06 - IT WAS THE SHARE BUTTONS!!! Grrrr. (Thanks to Kate over at O My Heart for her help!) Still have not left for work.

12:54 - Finally got myself together (I look GREAT, thanks for asking) and arrived at work. No more writing till at least 7:30 PM, and now I've agreed to a word war with Maggie. Have to do 1300 more words by the time I go to sleep. What have I gotten myself into?

 And now I have accepted some vague word count challenge from Maggie. It's not looking good for me.

2:15 - Ohhhh my.....geez.


*Ahem* Back to work.

5:01  - Thought I'd get at least a couple hundred words in between visits with students, but it's been an INSANE day  here at the office. Grateful to see so many students, not looking forward to having to get another 1300 words out once the kids go to bed. But I'll do it, because I promised Maggie I would.

6:03 - Home from work, dropping off a student at her south campus dorm (because I am awesome) and stopping at the grocery (oooh! Avocadoes.) Light the jack-o-lanterns, restart the dryer, throw the pizza I made earlier into the oven and the veggies in the microwave, cut an avocado in half.

6:05 - Open Twitter so I can trash-talk Maggie about our word war at 7:45. BECAUSE I AM GOING TO OWN HER.

6:35 - Another 375 down. Rewarding myself with pajamas.

6:39 -  Just found out (via Facebook) that David is a FREAKING SAINT and has taken all the children to Jiffy Lube for the oil change so 1. I don't have to do it tomorrow and 2. They are out of my hair for at least another hour.

7:31 - After a particularly harrowing dinnertime in which I asked Asher (4) to bus his table and he went from horrified to outraged to indignant, deciding I was the Worst Ima Ever (yes, he went to time out) AND the baby flung homemade pizza sticks  at my head, the children are finally in "circle time" for a bedtime story. Thank. God.

My crit partners have graciously pushed Word War to 8:00. *Cracks knuckles* Can't. Wait.

7:57 - Prep for word war with Coke and chocolate. David says, "Don't embarrass me by losing." Cute.

8:00 - It's ON. Can't believe I'm pantsing this sucker.

8:20 - 699 words!  Woo! I'm so close to what Maggie challenged me to now!

8:48 - We are crazy and did ANOTHER one. This one wasn't as good - 494 - but I'll be darned if Maggie isn't the smartest thing next to those fabulous shoes I wore today. These word wars pushed me to just over 1700 words for the day - almost a whole page over what Maggie challenged me to!

Obviously, I bow to her.

(Oh! And she and G did a bang-up job in the word war too. Gina even punctuated stuff! And spelled it correctly!)

Whew! I'm spent. Gonna crit for awhile, then turn in.

9:42 - No crits done - got distracted by Prince Charming on Once Upon a Time (he reminds me of Davis.) Going to bed now so I can wake up at 4 tomorrow, and hang out with THE ELITE then.

A Questionnaire for Potential Crit Partners

Are you worried about whether the critique partner you've just met is the right match for your needs? Relax. I've devised a simple eight-question survey to determine if you are a good match.

(You're looking for as many matching answers as possible. There is no right or wrong here.*)

Have fun!



1. What time do you go to bed at night/wake up in the morning?

• Morning Person
• Night Owl
• I never sleep. 

2. How comfortable are you talking about your personal life?

• Not at all. This relationship is about writing and writing only.
• Once we get to know each other, I might leak some personal details.
• I will tell you about my religious beliefs, deepest darkest fears, and sex life right now.

3. How do you feel about sending and receiving care packages?

• I would probably call the bomb squad if I got one from you.
• Only if it relates to our interactions as critique partners - for example, a book we discussed.
• I just sent you one that weighed twenty pounds. It includes some homemade cookies and a set of jim-jams I thought you'd like.

4. Are you comfortable gushing about how wonderful my book/writing skills/general person when I'm in the lowest of the drafting/revising/querying trenches?

• I really don't want to inflate your ego. I'll be one hundred percent honest with you, even when self-doubt is at its worst.
• If I feel really sorry for you, I'll give you as much hand-holding as I can muster.
• You are the best author I know. I can't believe you don't have an agent yet. Wait. What was the question?

5. If I send you a panicked email about a minuscule detail in my query letter, how will you respond?

• I'll brush it off as quickly as possible. Talent speaks for itself, and that query letter isn't going to make a difference in whether you get an agent.
• I'll respond about the distinction between the "or" and the "and" in that sentence, once, but after that I'll ignore you. Chill the eff out.
• I will drop everything to analyze every word with you until you calm down/your query letter sparkles like it's meant to. This is important!

6. Can I come stay at your house if I feel like taking a vacation?

• No. Never ask me that again.
• Maybe. If I decide you're not too weird.
• Absolutely. And I will cook for you, leave chocolates on your pillow, and scent your bedsheets with lavender. How soon can you get here?

7. If I'm having a really bad day, will you email me a kissing scene and/or near miss scene and/or sex scene from your WiP to cheer me up?

• Why would a kissing/near-miss/sex scene cheer you up? Are you some kind of pervert?
• I don't really feel comfortable sharing details of what I'm working on, but for you I might.
• I'll send you three kissing scenes right now, just in case.

8. Can I have your phone number to save in my speed dial under "In Case of Catastrophic Agent Rejection?"

• No. Are you kidding? That is freaky.
• If you promise to call only if you really, really need to.
• I thought you'd never ask. Here's my work number too. 

*I lied. The last answer is always the right one.

An Important Author Lesson to Learn RIGHT NOW

You are learning the most important lesson you need to be a published author right now.

Right this moment. Whether you're just beginning your very first draft ever, going through the critique process, beginning to query, or deep in the query trenches, you need to focus on learning this lesson right now.

How to say, "Thank you."

Because an author's platform is so very much anchored in cyberspace, she has more opportunities than ever to say "Thank you."

 It's a phrase that is no longer confined to the acknowledgements section of a published book. Every person who reads your book, every tweeter who tweets about it, everyone who recommends it to a friend or does a blog post mentioning it, is making your success as an author. And each of those people deserves a "thank-you."

I've seen authors act with so much class in this regard, it's not even funny.

Elana Johnson has commented on this little blog a handful of times, and given me a heart attack each one. Beth Revis has commented, too, and she even gave me a pep talk over at Formspring when I started querying. (Yeah, it took me a day or so to get over the shock of that.)
Brodi Ashton and Gennifer Albin have deigned to tweet and Facebook with me. (eeep!)

These ladies don't have to do that. But they do, because they are smart (and sweet.) They get it. They know that if they're going to be successful each individual reader has to be treated like she's worth her weight in gold. And so they do it.

I will read and cheer on any book they write, ever, from here unto eternity. Just because they've done this.

By now, it might go without saying, but I've also mentioned some authors via Tweet or blog, in a non-crazy way, mind you, who have acted exactly the opposite of classy in this regard. Just the other day I tweeted that I pre-ordered a book, mentioned the author, and she didn't tweet back! Needless to say, I'm far less likely to read their future work, and if I do read the book, I'm less likely to look kindly on it. (I mean, seriously? How much time and energy does it take to respond to a tweet from a fan to say "thank you?") 

Anyway. I figure I'd better get this skill down cold right now. Saying "thank you" like it's your job should come naturally to any published author because...well...IT IS YOUR JOB. So here we go.

To the online writing community:

• Thank you for writing such informative and inspirational blog posts, to help me improve my craft and knowledge base about the industry.
• Thank you for throwing amazing conferences like WriteOnCon and contests like "An Agent's Inbox" and "Mystery Agent" to help the pre-agented get more exposure and give our queries a greater chance.
• Thank you for hosting bi-annual networking campaigns to connect us with other writers like us.
• Thank you for commenting on my blog, and letting me know that you value what I have to say.
• Thank you for keeping track of my WiP and being such amazing cheerleaders in my writing process. Ditto for queries.
• Thank you for being a real-time writing-and-query panic support group via Twitter and email.

To my critique partners:

• Thank you for reading my horrendous drafts and ten incarnations of scenes I just can't get right. And not minding a minute of it.
• Thank you for endlessly brainstorming what must seem like minute, trivial character details and plot points with me. And not minding a minute of it.
• Thank you for giving me loving lectures on the accuracy of science in my books, birth control, and query panic, and not thinking less of me afterwards (and, if you do, not telling me about it.)
• Thank you for drawing pictures of my characters, and making me cry.
• Thank you for telling me when a song makes you think of my book, and making me cry.
• Thank you for sending me care packages with inspirational notes, and making me cry.
• Thank you for loving my book and its characters almost as much as I do. That's what I call belief in something, and it's powerful stuff.

To the agents who have asked to see more of THE TRAVELERS:

• Thank you for spending any of your valuable time considering my work.
• Thank you for being unafraid of a brand-new writer.
• Thank you for continuing to read when you run across the occasional mistake or pet peeve.
• Thank you for any feedback you (might? hopefully?) give.
• Thank you for giving me a chance.

To anyone who has ever asked to read my book, just because you thought it sounded awesome:

THANK YOU.

Just...thank you.

Okay, your turn to practice! Who do you want to say "thank you" to? Or, what is another important authoring lesson we can learn before we're agented or published?