What Tugs You Down the Writing Path?

Let's take a moment to put it all on the table.
We're so busy. So, so busy.
We all have so much stuff every day that we have to do besides writing.
It's insane that we're writing at all, really.

Here's my stuff:
Three preschoolers to take to and pick up from school, feed, clean, clothe, etc. Every day.
A house to keep non-condemnable. (Low standards!)
A husband to look at and speak to once in awhile.
30-35 hour a week day job.
Extended family visiting 1/2 of weekends.
Theoretically, working out. (I'm hosting a fetus right now so I give myself a break till May.)
I should sleep? Probably?

Now. I'm grateful for these things. These things make up my life, one that I consider myself very lucky to lead. There could be a lot of extra, not-so-positive things thrown in the mix that I'm SO GRATEFUL are not there.

There's just one thing I know about all this. I have to fit writing in somewhere. HAVE TO.
For one simple reason - I'm a miserable beast when I don't.
(I've learned this through trial and error, and it's not pretty.)

But, especially for the unagented, it's really, crazily difficult to fit writing in. Where's our motivation? What are we really doing here, anyway? No one even wants to buy our stuff! (So it seems.) 

It's so ridiculous to spend our valuable time and energy writing something that'll never go anywhere, right? It's just a big old waste.

What business do we have tossing hot dogs and apple slices in our kids' general direction while staring at the laptop perched on the kitchen island, or depriving ourselves of sleep just to get an extra 200 words in? Who do we think we are, spending way too much money on a babysitter for two hours just to sneak in a bit more brainstorming? Or ignoring our classwork, or secretly rejoicing when our husbands announce they'll be on a boys' night out again?

Well. None, really. But if you're anything like me, you know you'll be miserable if you don't.

So, what pulls you down the path to get started? To keep going, till you've hit 75000 words (or whatever,) then to painstakingly edit, then to go through rounds and rounds of CPs/revisions/edits, then to cry over queries and synopses and rejections?

Well, for me, it's tough love, made up of equal doses of bullying and guilt, with a little flattery on the side.
Like this:
 "Stop whining and JUST WRITE."
"Here, let me spend valuable time brainstorming with you about plot/themes/worldbuilding. NOW WRITE." "You'd better write this story, because it's going to be AMAZING."

So I do.
I "just write" a kissing scene between two characters that kicks off a whole element of the story I hadn't anticipated.
I force my brain to navigate a tough bit of worldbuilding with Chessie's help, and when it's finally there staring at me, my mind is blown with how awesome and exciting it'll be to write.
I take a minute to think about my main character's arc and want to cry a little bit with how difficult things are going to be for her. I fall in love with her.

Then I realize - after just a little bit of work, NO ONE is going to be able to write this story like I can. My characters and the world are speaking to me, and now they're on the "Just Write the Darn Story" team.
And if I don't write it, no one else will ever hear them.

Then I start thinking about my CPs, and I get really grateful that they threw crackers at their kids or ignored their husbands or didn't prep for midterms or lost sleep or made their fingers ache typing that whole chapter on an iPhone during carpool. Otherwise I never would have met Kelsey and David, Emma and Alex, Amity, Damien, Rory, and Viv, Tam and Izuko (oh, Izuko,) Avery, Jack, and Stellan, Alex and Miles, Maggie and Tommy, Grey and Xan and Edward and Nathan. I would have never had their stories tug at my heartstrings and change me just a little bit forever. When I think about how those stories will be published and other people will get to know them too, I'm really, really, REALLY glad those authors kept going. Otherwise, their stories would be stuck in their heads forever, without anyone else to ever love them.


Now, that would be a waste.

The Revision Cave

 I understand that the Internet is striking against bad people that want to censor the Internet today, so I'm supposed to be blacked out and whatnot. But I'm posting for a few reasons:

1. Alexa called me on not posting on Monday, and I felt like a loser,
 2. I need to announce the winner of the Brodi Ashton Classy Author Giveaway, (scroll to the bottom)( Decided I'm doing that tomorrow instead) and
3. I need to explain why my blog posts might be kind of sub-par (or occasionally absent) in the next few weeks.

Oh! And, lastly, I think this insipid post will illustrate how pointless everyone's blog posts might be if the internet got all censored. So that's worth something, right?

Ohhhkay. Let's go.

Well, folks, it's that time of the manuscript again. The amazing, magical, heartbreaking, devastating, depression-tailspin-sending time when I have a ton of revisions to do and so do half my CPs.

Everyone's gearing up to query, which is a wonderful, exhilarating thing which basically translates to I HAVE TO GET THESE REVISIONS DONE AND THESE 3 OTHER MSs READ AND THOUGHTFULLY COMMENTED ON AND ALSO COULD YOU PLEASE LOOK AT MY QUERY ONE MORE TIME BECAUSE I'M WORRIED ABOUT THAT COMMA YOU KNOW WHICH ONE.

I'm on edge, we're all on edge, let's hole up in our rooms and hunch over our computers and occasionally burst into tears and maybe also send each other 75 emails a day which may or may not consist largely of exclamation points (!!!!)

Yeah. It's insane, and hilarious, and draining. So, for lack of a coherent post today, I thought I'd show you where I'm going to be doing the most hours of insanity/hilarity on the next couple of weekends: The Revision Cave.



1. There's the Harry Potter crew. Love them. Below them to the left is a quote from Robbie Coltrane about making the movies: "Nobody thought, 'Oh, it's just a kids' film.' Everyone treated it as seriously as Ibsen." Damn straight.

2. Pictures of the fam and me and my sweetie. Because, well, obvious.

3. Flowers. Even caves need flowers.

4. The little corner I keep with love notes from my CPs. Even if Gina's are mushier and flowerier and more quote-filled than Chessie's, I know they love me the same.

5. A giant bag of peanut butter M&Ms that I keep for the sole purpose of letting my kids get their grubby little hands into when they manage to sneak up to my office. It's cute to watch them feeling like they naughtily won something.

6. Mug my sister got me with quotes from TWILIGHT. If I ever lose confidence in my writing ability...well, you can imagine how this helps.

7. Headphones. Obvious.

8. The pretty paper notebooks I bought back when I thought I would actually do some longhand in there. Sometimes they help when I need to scribble manuscript-wide notes.

9. My tape dispenser that I wallpapered the the UGLIEST flowery stuff so no one would want to steal it and pretend it was always theirs. Because seriously, why are people always stealing tape dispensers?

10. My crew of guys. Edward, Thor, and Professor X. They help. Edward loves me unconditionally and eternally, Thor will smash anyone who gets in my way, and the Professor is...well...THE PROFESSOR.

11. The netbook with Underwood skin. Because my husband calls it a "glorified typewriter."

12. The paper copy of ONE, God help me.

13. The cast of characters. You can see Nik and Davis, Joey and Brian (let's take a moment of silence may they rest in peace) and Merrin and Elias are up there too (still haven't found a better one than Corey Monteith, sorry G, except that guy I stalked in Starbucks and my picture of him sucks.) Still haven't found a perfect Leni and Daniel so they're down for now.

14. Superheroes growth chart. It might look like I've grown a lot, but I put "Full Request" almost halfway up the chart when I thought that if I was getting full reqs I was basically halfway to published. HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I know. I was so cute.

I'm almost grown up to "Second complete MS" and the next step will probably be "sign with agent" which I'm too superstitious to even put up there. But that will be at Daredevil level, which is apropos, and now I'm hovering at Human Torch. Which is WAY apropos.

15. Fab author inspiration. There's another growth chart about growing with critique from Beth Revis and the printout of the first time ELANA JOHNSON COMMENTED ON MY BLOG OMG. Telling me not to stop dreaming. She's so awesome.

16. A bracelet my writing buddy Jean gave me that's engraved with "the heart of a writer." I'm gonna engrave the title of every book I get published on the other side.  So, it's like optimistic and whatnot.

17. This picture reminds me of an Israeli kids' song that says, "To the giraffe, all of our problems look very, very small." I love it.

18. More pictures of the fam. Me and my sister up top, me and my baby girl below, and to the left, a snap of my grandmother at 23, who I think I was probably cloned from. Probably should write a book about that.

19. A handwritten and illustrated version of Shel Silverstein's "Listen to the Mustn't's" from my Israeli bestie Hela, which always makes me weep, and a necklace she made me to go with it.

20. A story from Jewish tradition about the importance of telling stories, which ends: "God made people because God loves stories." It helps remind me that all this insanity isn't really as silly and pointless as I sometimes worry it is.

Welp! That's the tour. Thanks for visiting, hope you enjoyed it, and if you ever come over, there's a second desk in the same office, so we can TOTALLY have a writing date with enough workspace AND without having to look at/talk to each other. Good times.